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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25244347">Find Us</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/OLAstrid/pseuds/OLAstrid'>OLAstrid</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Outlander &amp; Related Fandoms, Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 04:35:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,267</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25244347</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/OLAstrid/pseuds/OLAstrid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This very short one shot is based on an idea I had after watching Episode 5x09, the scene where Jamie almost dies. <br/>Thank you for reading.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Claire Beauchamp/Jamie Fraser</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>85</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Find Us</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Thank you Sil for being my beta!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“It’s cold, Sassenach. Touch me. Touch me before I sleep...”</p><p><br/>Darkness.<br/><em>I need to see yer face one last time why can’t I just find the strength to open my eyes.</em></p><p>Coldness. <br/><em>I know you’re here but I can’t reach out and touch ye, my body won’t move, please get closer to me so I can feel yer fine, warm skin for the last time. </em></p><p>Emptiness.<br/><em>The sound of your voice fades away, speak to me, I beg ye. </em></p><p>And then… </p><p> </p><p>Silence. </p><p> </p><p>I try to collect my thoughts together but I feel like I've been stripped of everything that I am. I’m in the midst of the very nothingness. </p><p>Absolutely nothing comes to mind when I try to remember where I was before, the only thing I know is that I was going through a great deal of suffering.</p><p>All of the sudden, something pulls me out of the void I’m immersed in, something so strong I can’t fight it, not even if I wanted to. </p><p><br/>Rain.<br/>Lightning.</p><p><br/>My eyes try to adjust to the flashes of light illuminating the night sky, coming right before the loud sound of a thunder. The pain in my leg, the fever and the unbearable exhaustion are gone but… Where am I? Why am I so sad? Why is this not as peaceful as I thought it should be? Why can’t I just let go? </p><p>I start to walk, not sure where I’m going. I feel confused, disoriented and at the same time there’s a compelling force urging me to keep moving. One step after the other as if my feet knew exactly where they were taking me. </p><p><br/>A  window.<br/>Light.</p><p><br/>It's pouring but somehow I can’t feel the rain on me, not even a single drop. I get closer to the place where the light comes from and I slowly look up. Suddenly, my knees get weak and I quickly find something to lean on to prevent myself from losing balance; I remember this feeling very well, it can be only one thing.</p><p>Ah… I know where I am. To be back here again, after all this time. I take a deep breath.<br/> <br/>It’s not that cold anymore, I smile to myself. No, of course it’s not… she’s here too. <em>Mo nighean donn, my brown-haired lass. </em></p><p>I keep smiling while I’m just standing there, unable to move, unable to stop staring at her. <em>Mo chridhe</em>. I can see the reflection of her face in the mirror while she tries to tame that wild, beautiful curly hair, and she looks annoyed. </p><p><em>Don't get so upset  about it, Mo ghraidh – I want to say to her – ye see, it's still unruly and it's longer than it’s ever been. Now ye have all these silver hairs and they look sae bonny when the light of the moon hits them.</em> </p><p>“It will be alright, lass” I whisper. I’m saying this to her even when I know my words will get lost in the sound of the rain and the thunder, but I also know I’m saying this to myself because I don’t care what happens after; I could stand here forever, live in this moment for all eternity. The minute I saw her face, the second I caught her beautiful whisky eyes a feeling of calm took over my mind and soul. </p><p>“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, Claire” I say out loud and my hands ache for the need of touching her. <br/><em>To touch ye, Sassenach. </em></p><p>Right inside the center of my chest, I start to feel like a flame has been ignited. This is pretty much like being alive but instead of having a heart, blood and flesh, there’s fire everywhere, the fire of a love that will burn for all eternity. </p><p><br/>Rain.<br/>Lightning.<br/>The sound of steps approaching.</p><p><br/><em>No, please.</em> The desperation and sadness take over me. No, I don’t want to leave, I cannae leave her it’s too soon, she needs me.</p><p>“Excuse me, can I help you with something?” That voice sends chills down my spine. I have to turn around and walk away, I must leave now. </p><p>I look up towards the window once again, trying to find her face through my teary eyes in an attempt to remember every single detail before everything becomes darkness again. Is this it? Is this the last time I’m going to see her? </p><p>“Mo nighean donn” I whisper “I love you” </p><p><em>Oh, my God how can I leave ye,Claire?</em> I hear the steps getting closer and closer but I can hear something else as well. Is it my mind playing tricks on me? </p><p>
  <em>Is it really you, Sassenach? </em>
</p><p>The sound of her voice like a distant echo traveling through the pouring rain and the ruthless thunder.</p><p>“Jamie… Jamie… Jamie!” A whimper “No, no, no, no you stay with me”</p><p>I need to go back to her. </p><p>Out of the corner of my eye, I can see the man approaching. There’s no more time left. </p><p>Her voice again. </p><p>“No… No! I’m here! No, don’t leave me, you’re not leaving me!” </p><p><em>I’m not leaving you, Mo ghraidh.</em> </p><p>I gather all the strength I have left and I walk away before it’s too late. Claire’s voice stays with me as I disappear into the night. </p><p>“Oh… stay with me, I’m right here.”</p><p><br/>A sudden burn invades my entire body as air enters and fills my lungs with my first breath. It’s warm again. My eyes try to adjust to the light so I can focus on what’s in front of me. A face. It’s her. Sorcha. </p><p><br/>—————————————————————-</p><p><br/>Inverness, 1945</p><p><br/>“Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ!” </p><p>I take a look at my reflection in the small bathroom mirror. I swear sometimes I can’t deal with this hair, I’m ready to give up on trying to untangle it. I don’t know if it’s the hair that’s annoying me or if the words Mrs. Graham said while doing her palm reading act are still resonating in my mind. There’s an unsettling feeling that just won’t go away. <em>Ugh</em>. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <em>“The marriage line is divided. Means two marriages but… most divided lines are broken, yours is… forked.” </em>
</p><p><br/>What did that even mean? A second marriage? Why am I questioning my current life situation after a stupid palm reading? Nonsense. Everything is already complicated as it is, I don’t need to add the worries of future predictions based on some superstition. </p><p>
  <em>Get it together, Claire. </em>
</p><p>Outside is pouring and the sound of thunder makes my chest rumble along with it. What a strange feeling, not so sure if it’s the weather or something else out there or… I shake my head trying to refocus on my untangling task. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <em>Mo nighean donn.</em>
</p><p><br/>A voice in my head. Something I can’t quite understand. The light flickers for a second and then goes back to normal. My heartbeat accelerates for a moment. </p><p>I keep brushing my hair, faster this time, putting all my attention on it trying to somehow calm myself down. <em>It’s just a storm, Claire.</em></p><p>
  <br/>
  <em>Mo nighean donn.</em>
</p><p><br/>Whispers echo in my head. I get sudden chills all over my body.  What is happening?<br/>A really loud thunder startles me as the light flickers again and then goes out. </p><p>Darkness.</p><p>I stay still for a moment. An overwhelming feeling of being protected, of not being alone takes over me and I close my eyes because I want to hear that voice again even if I don’t understand it, even if it’s just in my head and it doesn’t exist. </p><p>A tingling sensation in the back of my neck. </p><p><br/><em>Mo nighean donn.</em> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p>
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